The Danger Of Silencing Our Feelings

Knowing when to be quiet and when to speak is surely among the best skills we can develop

“Whoever drinks a lot ends up drowning”. Perhaps you have heard this ancient saying before that encloses universal truths that we should learn, and reminds us of our ancestors, like most old sayings. How many feelings do you have to keep quiet in your daily life? How many feelings and thoughts do you keep to yourself?

You do this so as not to hurt or offend the person in front of you. However, be aware that by doing this, you end up hurting yourself. In this article, we will tell you about the consequences of such an attitude towards yourself.

1. He who keeps silence keeps the power

Silence is a wise decision. He is always very suitable when faced with an inappropriate comment or when faced with an unsuitable expression. In fact, it is always better to choose silence and act with more intelligence than someone who speaks without thinking.

However, we must know how to maintain a balance between silence our feelings and defend our needs: 

If we are silent about our feelings and thoughts,  the person in front of us never knows what is hurting us, or if they are crossing certain limits.
Nobody is perfect. So if we say out loud what we think is wrong or offends us, the people around us will be able to take it into account.

There are wise silences and wise words.

Knowing when to be quiet and when to speak is surely one of the best skills we can develop. However, it is not a question of always being silent about your feelings. Or on the contrary to always say what goes through our mind, without keeping anything secret, because extremes are never good.

Try to maintain a certain balance. But never forget that silencing your feelings can also hurt you. Indeed, by doing so, you allow others to enter and make your personal space vulnerable, to go beyond the limits, to speak for you when you are silent, to choose for you when you remain silent.

Ultimately, you will be nothing more than a puppet guided by others.

2. Unspoken words become psychosomatic illnesses

You won’t be surprised to learn that mind and body are intimately linked and connected. In fact, specialists agreed to say that almost 40% of the population suffers or has suffered in their lifetime from a psychosomatic illness.

Nervousness, for example, affects our digestion, generates diarrhea or the classic headaches. Many cold sores result from high stress processes, nervousness and fever. Thus, we must not neglect the fact that silence what we feel and what we think causes us a strong anxiety.

Think about all those words you don’t want to say to your parents or friends so as not to hurt them. They do things for you thinking they are helping you. When in reality it makes you feel bad.

Why don’t you dare to tell the truth? Also think about your spouse, whom you don’t want to offend, when at times he behaves badly and hurts you. And yet, you still choose to shut up your feelings.

All of this will sooner or later lead to psychosomatic illnesses, migraines, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue, etc.

3. Say what you think out loud

You shouldn’t be afraid to listen to yourself, let alone be heard by others. Because it is something as necessary as breathing, eating or sleeping.

Emotional communication is necessary in our daily life to establish healthier relationships with others and, thus, with ourselves.

Here are some basic keys to achieve this:

Think that everything has a limit

If we don’t say out loud everything we think and feel, we won’t act with dignity, we will lose self-esteem and control over our life.
First of all, realize that saying what you think and what you need is a right.

Saying what you think is not hurting others

It is standing up for yourself and thus informing others of a reality that you need to know.

Don’t obsess over how others react

Now, if you are very concerned about what other people are thinking, you can prepare for possible reactions.

An example: you no longer want your parents to come to your house every weekend. Because you have no privacy with your spouse. So you decided to tell your parents that they stop coming so much.

How do you think they will react? If you think they are going to get upset, be prepared to reason with them as well and tell them that there is no reason to get upset.
If you think they are going to feel hurt, also be prepared to tell them that they shouldn’t be feeling that way and argue about how you feel.

Saying what you think and feel out loud is  the best way to release yourself emotionally. Practice this wisely, and take care of yourself.