Raising Children Alone: ​​all That Awaits Us!

Single parent families have always existed. Raising children is often very difficult when you are a single mother or father. This situation often requires giving more, materially but also emotionally. Some problems can arise, but it is perfectly fine to raise children on your own and make them happy. Find out today in this article how to raise children on your own in the best possible way.

Raising children on your own is a decision that can be made voluntarily, by personal choice or as a consequence of different events. Indeed, sometimes certain circumstances in life lead us to experience motherhood as a single parent family. From the death of the couple to the irresponsibility of an absent father or mother, a single parent can fully assume their parental responsibilities even if it is a little more complicated at all levels.

It is not easy to raise children on your own and this situation is really a challenge. However, it is not uncommon to come across a lot of people raising and educating their children on their own. There are millions of people around the world who have been successful in raising happy and loved children. These children, however, later become fulfilled and fulfilled adults. They in turn will have learned to love and to be perfectly happy.

Whatever the reason that led a family to be a single parent, divorce or separation of the couple, death of the couple or of an absent parent, the fact of being alone with the children imposes challenges and difficulties to be resolved on a daily basis. Find out how to best handle this situation in this article.

Raising children alone: ​​an important decision

Motherhood is a wonderful stage in a woman’s life, but at the same time complex. If you have the support of your partner, it can make your journey easier, but it’s not always the case. A toxic relationship is not the best example for children. There are many women who decide to continue their pregnancy after having broken up with the father of the soon-to-be born baby.

Being a single mother

Even if the mother bears the brunt of raising the child, an absent father can create a huge emotional void in the child. Of course, there are also women who have been abandoned by irresponsible men. While the option of becoming a single mom may not feature in their plans early in the relationship and may raise doubts, these women lovingly and courageously embrace the challenge of raising their children on their own. 

On the other hand, women who decide to resort to artificial insemination to realize the dream of being a mother are becoming more and more frequent. They are disappointed in their relationships with men or have not found the right partner and the biological clock tells them that it is time to take the plunge and have a child.

The challenges of raising children on your own

If you have decided to raise your children on your own, you are part of what is now called a single parent family. The absence of the father or mother should not stigmatize your children. Obviously, you will encounter problems but you will be able to solve them even if you are alone. Whether your children are and stay healthy, and feel loved and happy depends on you alone .

Meeting all these demands is undoubtedly more difficult when you are alone than being accompanied, but it is not impossible. The basic recommendations and tips that you should consider in your role as a single mom or dad are as follows:

Create your support network

You are most likely not totally alone after all, and you can organize a support network with your closest friends and relatives. Think about who will be with you during pregnancy, childbirth and caring for the baby. Your parents, brothers, cousins ​​or friends are part of your main support network.

If your partner leaves the responsibility of raising your child on your own, avoid getting carried away by depression. You will surely find more than one person in your environment who will make you happy. The idea that you will be a mother or that you are a single dad may lead some people to support you and do their best to help you.

And then, other people will also help you with more complex tasks, and others will give you a helping hand in simpler aspects. However, all the contributions and help received, however small, will help you alleviate the difficulties of everyday life if you are raising your child on your own.

Organize your work, your time and your budget

All expenses related to the upbringing and maintenance of your children are your responsibility, so there is no room for improvisation. You will juggle to take care of your children, and fulfill your professional obligations as best you can while being a single mother or father.

You must try to get yourself a job that is compatible with the situation of a single father or a single mother to raise your children. Going back and forth to nursery or school, monitoring them and encouraging them to do their homework, looking after their health and taking them to the doctor, etc.

On the other hand, your income should cover the budget you need to meet all the basic needs of your children: medical care, food, clothing, education and recreation.

You need to organize your agenda without feeling overwhelmed. Everything must go on time, you must manage priorities and responsibilities but also leave room for fun. And it takes a lot of patience when things don’t always go as planned. What you will not be able to do today may well leave it for tomorrow, every thing in its time, after all you cannot do everything yourself.

Prepare for the big question

Avoid waiting for the child to ask you questions about the absent father or mother. It doesn’t make sense to have a bad time, or worse, to have your child affected by it. If you have decided to do artificial insemination, you should be able to talk about this topic naturally. It will be the same when you decide when to explain to your children where they are from.

If your partner has left you or has passed away, you should learn to talk about it without feeling overwhelmed by mixed feelings. It will take time, but you will be able to answer the questions your children ask you without pain or anger. Remember that you will often need to tell your children about the absent mother or father, to avoid the inevitable doubts or questions piling up.

Avoid discrediting or blaming the absent person

If you’ve had an unhappy relationship with your child’s father or mother, don’t let feelings of frustration, anger, or resentment come over you and cause you to blame your absent partner. Children are not responsible for a broken relationship.

In times of stress with your child, avoid arguments but also blame the absent parent. If you speak badly about the father or the mother, you will not get anything positive. Often, children feel guilty about the absence of a parent, although of course they are not responsible for it.

Your children have the right to know their origins and you have the duty to give them the most precise and neutral information possible. Avoid influencing your children with negative positions towards the absent parent. Even if it’s hard to admit: this man or woman is still responsible for 50% of the lives of your children.

Tell your children the whole truth about their origins and make the decisions you feel are appropriate for themselves. This is especially important for children who are born by artificial insemination. Sooner or later your children will ask you where they are from and who their father or mother is.

Cultivate forgiveness

It’s easy to say, but it’s certainly not always easy to do. Forgiving a partner who has deliberately left is not a simple thing. It is a process that takes time. First you will be able to say “I can forgive”, and much later you will realize that you have succeeded in forgiving completely.

If your partner has passed away or abandoned you, you should not only forgive him, but also yourself. At any time, there may be times when you feel guilty about what happened. You have decided to have a child with this person and it is he who has given you the wonderful opportunity to be a mother or father, so forgive him.

To the extent that you can forgive, you can help your child to activate his own mechanisms of forgiveness towards his absent father or mother but also towards you. Forgiveness is a great expression of love, it is the feeling that unites you and will grow with your child, which ultimately remains the most important thing.

Find specialized support

A super mom or a super dad isn’t the one who can do it all, either. She is also the one who recognizes that she needs help at certain times of life. If you need to seek psychological help so that you and your children can cope with the absence of the absent partner, feel free to do so without feeling any embarrassment or shame.

It can help you understand the consequences of the father’s absence. You will also be able to discuss the problems that may arise in the relationship with your child and the necessary forgiveness that you must grant not only to yourself, but also to the parent who no longer accompanies you in the parenting process.

Although you may have mixed and confused feelings, not taking this step when necessary can deprive you of personal well-being and that of your children. Family therapy can also help children understand and resolve doubts and emotional voids.

If you don’t have the budget to pay for such a service, find support groups in your area. In addition, some family agencies can also refer you to social centers or religious congregations.

In conclusion

While you can’t completely fill the void of the absent partner, do your best as a single parent. To raise children on your own, you need twice the love, patience, understanding, and commitment. It’s difficult, but you can do it perfectly. Your children will thank you for all your efforts and will thank you for it later.

Today single-parent families are becoming more and more common. While the parent who is present strives to fulfill both roles, children who grow up without one parent may have emotional gaps that need to be addressed as well.

In general, the troubles that divorces or separations can cause on children are irreversible. These situations can also affect other aspects of children’s lives such as university studies and, in some cases, their health. While professionals say children are successful in adjusting and absorbing situations, there’s no denying that these changes leave no one unscathed.

The family , whatever its typology, is the pillar on which the development of the individual is based. Know why the family is so important in raising children. The family has a great impact on the growth of children. On their emotional and social development. The family shapes the way they think, the way they make decisions, the way they behave and even their outlook on life. The environment in which a child grows up defines him as a person. Therefore, the importance of the family in its development is essential.