Nobody Can Ruin Your Life

For people to ruin our lives, they have to have our permission. If we don’t give it to them, they won’t have power over it because we are the only craftsmen of our happiness.

We tend to poison our lives very easily, out of fear, because of negative attitudes, out of insecurities, because we worry about things that are not worth it … But tell yourself that no one can ruin your experience. life!

It is a human faculty as common as it is uncomfortable which causes, without our knowing why, a fall into a gray abyss, apathy and ill-being.

It is necessary to focus on things in another way. It is indeed very common to allow others to poison our lives, letting them adopt an attitude that we should not accept.

Know that bitterness is above all the inability to be happy. 

Before you criticize or tell someone that the only thing they do is poison our lives , be patient and listen to find out if that person has a problem, such as depression. example.

If what only exists is the will to hurt and blackmail emotionally, then don’t allow it.

No one has to be important enough in your life to steal your happiness for nothing at all. We invite you to think about this idea.

It is forbidden to spoil the lives of others

From today we will put into practice a new goal: it is forbidden to spoil the lives of others, let alone do it with us.

We are going to open our emotional umbrellas so that we can protect ourselves from harmful comments, from those who try to break our wings when we wish to fly, from those who extinguish our dreams and from those who repeat to us every day: “you cannot”.

To achieve this, we can use these simple strategies.

I listen to you, I understand you, but I protect myself from you

As we told you earlier, behavior characterized by bitterness, irritability or apathy can represent the root of hidden depression.

• Reacting with anger or disinterest could intensify the other person’s negative emotions. 
• It is advisable to always listen to the one who brings bitterness to us and to show his disagreement with calm, assertiveness and patience.
• If that person needs help, give them strategies to see what’s going on with them.
• If it’s just a great lack of empathy and respect for us, open your defensive umbrella. And don’t hesitate to take some distance.

Bitterness doesn’t resolve with more bitterness

A reproach cannot be resolved with an insult. Fears don’t go away with bigger fears, and bitterness doesn’t go away by accumulating more negative emotions.

• If a loved one, spouse, or friend is used to bringing bad vibes to you, don’t feed the situation with anger or hostile reactions any more.
• We must be assertive, but also intelligent. Sometimes we can’t change the way those around us are. Unfortunately, there are models of personalities accustomed to discrediting others, offending and despising.

The sooner we accept it, the better, because then we can act in a logical way: with distance and defensive walls.

Keys against the bitterness of our life

Rafael Santandreu is a psychologist who, thanks to his book The art of not poisoning one’s life , has shown us that this poor quality of life is the result of an erroneous philosophy that we apply, without knowing how, to our actions and our thoughts.

Here’s a good way to deal with it: learn how to poison our lives less. To know how, just consider these simple strategies:

• You don’t have to complain so much. Instead of complaining about what we don’t have, we should try to appreciate what we already have. Then, at the same time, solve what worries us.
• To use this psychologist’s terminology, don’t “ terribilize ” your life. We often tend to say to ourselves: “if I am fired, it will be terrible, it will be the end”, “if my spouse leaves me, I will die. .. ”.
• Although you might not know it, you need very little to be happy. Try to appreciate the little things around you.
• Take care of your inner dialogue. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
• Don’t expect anything from anyone, don’t expect everything from others.
• Love yourself unconditionally, be able to accept those around you for who they are. Love them with respect, just like you respect yourself.
• Use laughter in the face of the chaos of those around you. If someone is trying to ruin your life, respond with humor.

It’s not worth it, because each of these bad behaviors shouldn’t have an impact on you.